https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYQmqxQgEBY&src_vid=T_lh5fR4DMA&feature=iv&annotation_id=annotation_330695
Another divide between men and women! Loved this part:
"Would he hook up with you if you wanted to hook up?
-Yeah
So what you're saying is that men and women can't be friends?
-No, we can be friends.
You're just friends, but he likes you.
-Yes [laughs]
So it's a one sided friendship?"
Ladies you just don't get it! If a SINGLE guy has expressed interest in you, that's probably never going to change! The ONLY way men and women can be just friends is if the guy finds the woman unattractive. No if's, and's, or but's about it!
One of my past colleagues once challenged me on this. So I told her, name one of your best guy friends.
"Adam"
So you guys get along very well?
"Absolutely, he's such a sweetheart."
Has he ever expressed interest in you?
"Yes, but he knows I'm not interested."
That doesn't mean anything.
"Yes it does! He knows I'm not interested but he's still willing to be friends with me."
Ok let me put it this way, if you texted him right now and asked him to hook up, would he?
"Probably."
So he's not a platonic friend! He's simply another guy friend that's waiting for a possible chance to sleep with you!
"I don't agree."
Ok, is he on your FB?
"Yeah."
How fast does he usually respond to your post?
"Pretty fast I guess."
Does he like your posts often?
"Yeah I guess so."
Ok let's do a simple experiment. So he likes most of your posts and he's a good friend right?
"Yeah."
So theoretically, a good friend would be happy for you if you got into a relationship right?
"Yeah."
Ok, so temporarily friend me on FB, and put us in a relationship. Because, according to everything you just told me, he would be supportive and like the status.
"Ok."
...
Over 24 hrs passes and she knows Adam has gotten online. Nothing.
So why hasn't he liked the status?
[Dejectedly] "I don't know."
Ok, is he online right now?
"Yes."
Write an update like "love the honeymoon period of a relationship, so happy"
"Ok." [She types it out.]
[We wait for a few minutes. Nothing.]
"Maybe he's just not looking at my posts today."
Then post something like "nothing better than skipping work and lazily eating hagen daaz in you pj's".
"Why?"
Just do it.
[She types it out and after about two minutes Adam "likes" it.]
And...that is why men and women can't be just friends!
Don't believe me? Look at Psychology Today (1). While they say that it IS possible, the article states that the ONLY way it is possible is if "both genders have to openly and honestly negotiate exactly what their relationship will mean—whether sexual attraction is a factor and how they'll deal with it—and establish boundaries." So, what that basically means is that, ladies, you have to have the sex talk with a guy that finds you attractive. Good luck with that.
You can also take a look at a paper by a Harvard psychology professor(2) which says flat out, that no, it's just not possible. Or to use the more scholastic terms of the paper: "This is not just a bit of confirmation for stereotypes about sex-hungry males and naïve females; it is direct proof that two people can experience the exact same relationship in radically different ways. Men seem to see myriad opportunities for romance in their supposedly platonic opposite-sex friendships. The women in these friendships, however, seem to have a completely different orientation—one that is actually platonic". So what does that mean? "Although women seem to be genuine in their belief that opposite-sex friendships are platonic, men seem unable to turn off their desire for something more."
Face it ladies, if you have a friend that finds you attractive; he wants more. You may not, but he does. And all relationships whether platonic or otherwise is a two-way street. It doesn't matter if you feel like it's platonic, if he doesn't, you don't have a platonic friendship.
1. http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200108/can-men-and-women-be-friends
2. http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/men-and-women-cant-be-just-friends/
"Would he hook up with you if you wanted to hook up?
-Yeah
So what you're saying is that men and women can't be friends?
-No, we can be friends.
You're just friends, but he likes you.
-Yes [laughs]
So it's a one sided friendship?"
Ladies you just don't get it! If a SINGLE guy has expressed interest in you, that's probably never going to change! The ONLY way men and women can be just friends is if the guy finds the woman unattractive. No if's, and's, or but's about it!
One of my past colleagues once challenged me on this. So I told her, name one of your best guy friends.
"Adam"
So you guys get along very well?
"Absolutely, he's such a sweetheart."
Has he ever expressed interest in you?
"Yes, but he knows I'm not interested."
That doesn't mean anything.
"Yes it does! He knows I'm not interested but he's still willing to be friends with me."
Ok let me put it this way, if you texted him right now and asked him to hook up, would he?
"Probably."
So he's not a platonic friend! He's simply another guy friend that's waiting for a possible chance to sleep with you!
"I don't agree."
Ok, is he on your FB?
"Yeah."
How fast does he usually respond to your post?
"Pretty fast I guess."
Does he like your posts often?
"Yeah I guess so."
Ok let's do a simple experiment. So he likes most of your posts and he's a good friend right?
"Yeah."
So theoretically, a good friend would be happy for you if you got into a relationship right?
"Yeah."
Ok, so temporarily friend me on FB, and put us in a relationship. Because, according to everything you just told me, he would be supportive and like the status.
"Ok."
...
Over 24 hrs passes and she knows Adam has gotten online. Nothing.
So why hasn't he liked the status?
[Dejectedly] "I don't know."
Ok, is he online right now?
"Yes."
Write an update like "love the honeymoon period of a relationship, so happy"
"Ok." [She types it out.]
[We wait for a few minutes. Nothing.]
"Maybe he's just not looking at my posts today."
Then post something like "nothing better than skipping work and lazily eating hagen daaz in you pj's".
"Why?"
Just do it.
[She types it out and after about two minutes Adam "likes" it.]
And...that is why men and women can't be just friends!
Don't believe me? Look at Psychology Today (1). While they say that it IS possible, the article states that the ONLY way it is possible is if "both genders have to openly and honestly negotiate exactly what their relationship will mean—whether sexual attraction is a factor and how they'll deal with it—and establish boundaries." So, what that basically means is that, ladies, you have to have the sex talk with a guy that finds you attractive. Good luck with that.
You can also take a look at a paper by a Harvard psychology professor(2) which says flat out, that no, it's just not possible. Or to use the more scholastic terms of the paper: "This is not just a bit of confirmation for stereotypes about sex-hungry males and naïve females; it is direct proof that two people can experience the exact same relationship in radically different ways. Men seem to see myriad opportunities for romance in their supposedly platonic opposite-sex friendships. The women in these friendships, however, seem to have a completely different orientation—one that is actually platonic". So what does that mean? "Although women seem to be genuine in their belief that opposite-sex friendships are platonic, men seem unable to turn off their desire for something more."
Face it ladies, if you have a friend that finds you attractive; he wants more. You may not, but he does. And all relationships whether platonic or otherwise is a two-way street. It doesn't matter if you feel like it's platonic, if he doesn't, you don't have a platonic friendship.
1. http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200108/can-men-and-women-be-friends
2. http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/men-and-women-cant-be-just-friends/
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