I was told by my cousin that my ex would like to reach out to me (have dinner). At first I thought why not? But then I asked myself, what was the point? What's the point of letting my ex back in my life? Is there any point of having an ex in your life? I think this is another point of difference between men and women.
Men do not see the point of keeping an ex in their lives. Ladies, want to know why your ex is in your life? There are only three generally accepted reasons (by men obviously) of why your ex is in contact with you:
1. He wants to sleep with you
2. He wants to have a relationship with you
3. Because he absolutely has to be (kids, finishing divorce proceedings, etc...)
"But Sean, that's just what you think." Actually, it's not. Askmen.com (1) says it's a bad idea. So does the Telegraph (2). "I can provide tons of [women's] sites that say otherwise". Ok fair enough. All sites tend to be editorialised. But what about a more scholastic source (3)? Which says "Research suggests, however, that on average exes tend to have lower-quality friendships than opposite-sex friends who were never romantically involved. They are less emotionally supportive, less helpful, less trusting, and less concerned about the other person’s happiness. This is especially true, not surprisingly, for former partners who were dissatisfied with the romantic relationship". So why on God's green earth would you want to be friends with someone who isn't as supportive, helpful, trusting, and concerned about your happiness? Also, women's sites represent women's opinions, the other half of the "friendship" is the guy's opinion. And whether you like it or not ladies, the guy's opinion does matter.
Also, have you ever paused to think about how the guy actually feels and not just what you think and feel? Aside from the aforementioned three points, especially if you're the one to initiate the break up, this is how guys feel:
So consider our feelings as well, because every girl that I've talked to so far I've asked the same question: how does he feel about staying friends? And the answer is either the girl doesn't know, or the guy is keeping his distance. Either way, not a good sign.
Women tend to think that staying friends with ex's is possible because they think that a platonic relationship is possible. News flash: guys don't. So if one half of a friendship doesn't really want to be in it, it means that it WON'T WORK! Ladies, if you can't accept that, you're in denial.
1. http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi/33_dating_girl.html
2. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relationships/10542266/Modern-conflict-is-it-ever-possible-to-stay-friends-with-your-ex.html
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