I get asked questions like "what's the difference between managing Chinese and Westerners" or "why is it so hard to get productivity out of Chinese workers"? And the short answer to both of these is the same: efficiency.
Saturday, August 30, 2014
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Saturday, August 23, 2014
Top 7 Excuses Women Make for Horrible Boyfriends
These are the top things said by women in bad relationships with horrible boyfriends.
My Ex Wants to Reach Out (AKA Another Gender Divide)
I was told by my cousin that my ex would like to reach out to me (have dinner). At first I thought why not? But then I asked myself, what was the point? What's the point of letting my ex back in my life? Is there any point of having an ex in your life? I think this is another point of difference between men and women.
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
A Huge Divide Between Men and Women
One of my managers told me about how his sister-in-law married her English husband so she could live in England (he doesn't know that reason obviously). And today I read an article with a similar bottom line: http://thoughtcatalog.com/nancy-lang/2014/08/i-didnt-marry-the-love-of-my-life-on-purpose/ . The story is about a woman who grew up with her soul mate, had a fight with him, broke up, married another man, reconnected with the soulmate, and then sat with him and watched him die of cancer. What's the similarities in these two stories? Both husbands had no idea. But the main thing I want to touch upon here is that men and women's reaction to these scenarios are decisively different. All men (judging by both the comments and my own experience counseling couples) think that what these women have done is despicably wrong. While women can be more sympathetic, quite a percentage feel the same as the men.
Men tend to see this subject as black and white. You do NOT go into a long-term relationship if you do not feel that way about that person. If you have feelings for someone else, you either come clean or break it off, it's that simple [for men]. Or, if you're in it for the green card, I'm sure there are tons of men who would happily provide that for you, but be honest! Why men feel that this is wrong is simple; it's the biggest lie you could [not] tell in a relationship. And it means you're basing an entire relationship on a lie. For both the article and my manager's s-i-l, it's absolutely repugnant because when you get as far as marriage with another person, you owe it to that person that you are spending the rest of your life with to be truthful to them. In the end, there is no excuse. You do not marry a man while calling someone else (that you have romantic feelings for) your soul mate. Any guy who truly loves you would tell you to go after your soul mate, if you come clean anyways. Because that's what love is. But then again, that's also dependent on the fact that you love and respect him enough to tell him the truth.
On the other hand, I've talked to female friends about this and while they may not do this themselves, they have friends that are in similar situations. And ladies, I guarantee you one of the first things that goes into a guy's mind when you tell him you have a friend like this is "what does it say about you that you can be friends with such a horrible person?" You have to understand that this is a cardinal fear of all men; that the woman they're in love with doesn't feel the same about them. So in relationships, short of serial killer stuff, there is nothing more disturbing to a man than something like this. And when you have friends that are like this, you need to reassure us that you aren't.
Women cry about how men are immature, but when it comes to things like this. Men are far more mature than women. We either let go, or let the woman know the truth. That is not only the morally right thing to do, it's the grown up and respectful thing to do. In a relationship, short of paternity results, there is nothing that can break up a relationship faster than this.
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