Guy Code (v1.0)

I want to do a quick layout of some basic codes among guys.  This is NOT a comprehensive list.  In fact, it's a pretty basic list.  Feel free to add your own.  If it's universal, then it will be added to the list.



First let me start off by saying that "guy code" is not necessarily gender specific to males.  Some of us have "guy friends" who happen to be females.  By all intents and purposes, they are also considered "guys" and should be beholden to these rules.  In the same vein, "women" or "girlfriends" are also non-gender specific.


Getting Together:

1. Guys' night (chillin, poker, bars/clubs, etc...):  No women allowed.  We're getting together because we want to say horrible shit and take the piss out of each other.  Maybe hit on women.  Women will be supplied at agreed-upon venue.  Don't bring any.  Guys' nights are like Fight Club, shut the fuck up about it to anyone not actually there. 
• If there is food and you complain about things like getting fat or too much calories; you will get punched in the nuts.
• Any alcohol/food brought, stays at the host's house.  Help clean if necessary.
2. Sports:  I'm here to kick your ass.  Or tell others how you cheated.  Bring other people who can play.  Don't bring your new fuck toy who can't play (yes this definitely pertains to female guys who want to bring in their new girlfriend to "see how we get along").  We're playing sports, not house.
3. Camping/hunting:  Always look out for each other.  However, if you are both indisposed and are surprised by a grizzly, the grizzly bear principle applies (everyone for themselves).  

Dating:

1. Sisters are off limits.  (The only exception being real love.)  If you are good or best friends with a guy and you sleep with his sister, he has the right to punch you in the nuts.  No blocking.  
2. Brothers, cousins, aunts/uncles are all fair game.  
3. You will be nice and at least somewhat respectful to new girlfriends unless they are a psycho.  But no matter what, your honest opinion to your friend about his girlfriend will always be given after you meet them.
4. You do not go after any ex without express permission from your friend.  This is the NFL broadcast rule.  There should also be at least one buffer guy before it happens.  
5. If a friend's girlfriend or wife calls to ask where he's been, you cover for him (even if you don't know).  There are no exceptions to this rule.

Conversations:

1. Nothing is off limits.  Things will be poked and prodded.  If you cry about it, you get a punch to the nuts.
2. Girlfriends are completely open for insults/debates/what if scenarios/etc...  Wives are not.  That's just weird.  Ex-wives are open too though.
3. Serious conversations are rare but happen.  There is no judgement.  Shut the fuck up and listen and give advice as needed.
4. That being said, we don't need to hear about your butterfly feelings when it comes to things like dating a new girl.  All we need to know is did you fuck?
5. If you get called out on your own bullshit, take it (you can still argue your point of view though).  That's what guy friends are for.

Helping Out:

1. Favours are done on a case by case basis.  All information will be upfront.
2. Stuff like moving, picking shit up for sick friends, or death porn wipe are mandatory (if there is a prior agreement).
• If shit is getting picked up for you, be clear.
• Said shit should not take more than 2 trips. 
• Moving requires at least pizza and beer as compensation. 
3. If a mate is sorting you out, and there happens to be backlash, the person who is done the favour must deal with the consequences and correct things.  

Know any more?  Feel free to add on.